Inspiring: Healing Our Relationships News Stories
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For seven years, I was a white nationalist skinhead and the front man of a neo-Nazi metal band based in Milwaukee. The life I led was toxic to myself and everyone around me. I was drawn in when I was 16. I was an angry, lonely kid, searching for something: identity, purpose, belonging. I found it, or thought I did, in a fantasy: the idea that I was part of a master race under siege. We justified brutal attacks — what we called "boot parties" — on people we saw as enemies: people of color, LGBTQ folks, Jews, punks, anyone who wasn't us. I'd hear a quiet voice inside asking, "What are you doing? This guy didn't do anything to you. You don't even know him," but I didn't have the courage to listen. In early 1994, the mother of my daughter and I broke up, and I found myself a single parent to our 18-month-old. Two months later, a second friend of mine was shot and killed. I'd lost count of how many friends had been incarcerated. It finally hit me that if I didn't leave, prison or death would take me from my daughter. That was the push I needed. I realized something profound: what I had been searching for all along — belonging, joy, connection — wasn't found in hate, it was in community. Today, I work with Parents for Peace, an organization that helps people caught in extremism find a healthier, more connected life. We support individuals on their journey — whether they're questioning, struggling, or still deeply entrenched — and we guide families trying to reach a loved one.
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Angela King was 19 and deeply entrenched in a white supremacist organization when Timothy McVeigh bombed the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, killing 168 people. The year was 1995, and King recalls watching the aftermath on TV. “That was the first time that I ever considered [that what I was doing wasn’t] just a game,” King says. “This was a whole other level of violence and destruction.” King could see something of herself in McVeigh, and the reflection scared her. They shared the same ideology. The anger that drove McVeigh to blow up a building came from the same ideas that shaped her belief system. Untwining herself from that world would not be easy. Leaving behind the people she called her friends would prove challenging, but not as challenging as moving past the ideology that had become a part of who she was. It would take more than four years, a prison sentence, some unexpected kindness from a Jamaican inmate, and nearly two decades of sharing her story — with all its shame and violence — to replace hatred with forgiveness. Today, nearly 25 years after the Oklahoma City bombing, King is a co-founder of and programs director for Life After Hate, a nonprofit that helps people leave extremist groups. King shares her story not because it’s easy. But she and other members of Life After Hate do it in the hope that others going through something similar will hear their stories, see someone they can reach out to for help, and envision a way ... forward.
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For 25 years, Jeff Schoep headed America's largest Neo-Nazi organisation, the National Socialist Movement. Now ... he says he is committed to helping deradicalise people who hold the extremist views he used to preach. "Hating people is exhausting. When you can't tolerate other people and other systems of belief ... there's something wrong with you and the way you're looking at things," Mr Schoep said. "Once you have the opportunity to see and understand somebody else's viewpoint, from their perspective of their story in life, that can be life-altering." Mr Schoep said his time at the helm of the National Socialist Movement was like being the leader of a cult. "I felt like I was going to save my race, and I was a patriot for my country ... that was what drove me," he said. A revelation for Mr Schoep occurred in 2016 when he agreed to an interview with Daryl Davis, a prolific African-American jazz musician who worked to deradicalise Neo-Nazi groups. Mr Davis spoke of the impact that racism had on his own life, which began when he was pelted with rocks as a child marching in a Boy Scout parade, asking Mr Schoep, "How could someone hate me when they don't even know me?" "I was told that racism was wrong in school, by my parents, my grandfather, everybody," Mr Schoep said. "But none of that resonated until I sat across from somebody that had experienced it firsthand and how it made them feel. "Daryl never told me how I was wrong; he showed me how I was wrong."
Note: Read more about the powerful anti-racist work of Daryl Davis. Explore more positive stories like this on healing social division.
What if a ticket to the opera could also be a prescription against loneliness? In Hamburg, the nonprofit KulturistenHochZwei — a play on the words culture (kultur) and tourists (touristen) — is turning concert and museum visits into powerful social medicine. Founded in 2015 by Christine Worch ... the initiative pairs teenagers with older adults to attend cultural events — everything from symphony performances to plays and art exhibitions. For the seniors, many of whom live on limited incomes and might otherwise stay home alone, these shared outings are a way back into public life. “With the young people, I feel young again,” one 85-year-old from Bramfeld in the northeastern part of the city said after a concert at Hamburg’s Elbphilharmonie. “They’re so kind and respectful. Everyone talks badly about youth these days, but these students are wonderful. We even exchanged phone numbers. I hope we can go again soon.” The idea is as elegant as it is effective. Seniors who fall below the income threshold — €1,350 ($1,575) per month for individuals or €1,750 ($2,040) for couples — receive free tickets to cultural events. But instead of attending alone, they’re matched with a “culture buddy” aged 16 or older, recruited through partnerships with local schools. For the young volunteers, the outings are a crash course in empathy and human connection. The teenagers commit to at least three cultural outings per school year and receive a certificate for their volunteer service.
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For the past decade, every year, Parisians like [Anne-Valérie] Desprez have been able to see their proposals come to life on the streets of the French capital. Under the city’s Participatory Budget, any resident above the age of seven, regardless of their nationality, can propose a project to be paid for by municipal funds. The model, increasingly popular across the globe, is helping authorities spend resources efficiently and boost democratic participation. In Paris, more than 21,000 ideas have been submitted by citizens since the scheme launched in 2014, resulting in 1,345 funded projects and an expenditure of €768 million (almost $900 million), including €263 million set aside for low-income districts. Each proposal must pass a feasibility study by city hall before being voted on by residents. “It is a very good device and it’s important,” says Yves Sintomer, a French researcher and co-author of the book Participatory Budgeting in Europe. It’s led to the creation of rooftop farms, children’s play areas, community art murals, shade structures and baggage storage for the homeless, as well as a number of projects at the [Cherry Sociocultural Center], which was founded in 1999. In 2017, following the center’s first successful budget proposal, benches were installed in the street out front, providing a place for people to congregate for free. Further funding from the participatory budget enabled the center to buy a cargo bike — shared with other local businesses — for short-distance deliveries in 2019.
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Wade Milyard heard the voice from “out of nowhere” and knew he needed to listen—he thought it was God, or some other higher power. The former canine officer for the Frederick Police Department in Maryland was responding to a domestic dispute at a homeless camp. Soon after he investigated the disturbance, the voice rang out. “Ask them about their laundry.” Milyard heeded the voice, asked the question, and unknowingly set the course for a prayer-fulfilling future. The homeless couple he interviewed told him they typically washed their laundry in a nearby creek. The cop never forgot that response, nor his call to service. He pooled multiple donations with some of his own money and went to work creating a full service laundromat on wheels. Fresh Step Laundry was born—with a mission “to help restore dignity to the unhoused community by providing free, accessible, and hygienic laundry.” Since retiring from the police force in January, the 45-year-old has been traveling around his Maryland city, which is near D.C., making a difference—one load of wash at a time. He’s set a schedule so people can meet him to take advantage of his laundry service, and his email is at the bottom of the web page. In the last several weeks alone, Fresh Step has washed more than 2,000 pounds of laundry and his next goal is to add a second vehicle so he can double the number of people he can serve.
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Emily Kasriel, the author of “Deep Listening” (HarperCollins, 2025), believes that really listening to each other can help us repair the social fabric that has frayed. Kasriel emphasized that Deep Listening is not just about changing personal habits but also about confronting a broader societal turning point. She shared, “I believe we’re at an inflection point where we must choose between further fragmentation or renewed connection. The practice of Deep Listening isn’t just a nice communication skill — it’s a necessary foundation for addressing complex challenges, in a business or society, from climate change to adapting to AI.” Kasriel hopes that by creating a comprehensive guide “to equip readers with practical tools to bridge divides in their personal lives, professional settings, and communities,” she will ultimately contribute to a less polarized, more connected world. Kasriel [said], “In my mediating, I witnessed how transformative it can be when people who see each other as enemies have the experience of being genuinely heard by the ‘other side.’ In these settings, I refined techniques for creating safety and holding space during difficult conversations-skills that directly informed several of the eight steps in my methodology.” Given her extensive experience, Kasriel realized that listening is not a passive act but a deliberate practice. Through listening differently, you transform what your speaker shares or even thinks.
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In Montana, a focus on restorative justice is reducing juvenile recidivism through a nonprofit program that engages them, rather than punishes them. The nonprofit believes that it’s actually far more challenging for juvenile offenders to look their victims in the eye and explain why they behaved antisocially than it is to simply serve a suspension from school, where they’re distanced from friends and mentors, and often fall behind in their education. The Center for Restorative Youth Justice (CRYJ), is not a new organization, but their influence in Montana is growing. CRYJ receives referrals from Youth Court probation officers, school administrators, or school resource officers made on behalf of a juvenile offender who’s broken the law. CRYJ then has a conference with the youth and their parent or guardian, and creates a tailormade program of restorative justice. This can involve peer group discussion, victim-offender meetings, and other situations where the youth is given the forum to reestablish a relationship with the community, rather than something like a school suspension. CRYJ believes that by limiting the overuse of exclusionary discipline and emphasizing a community-driven approach, it can help at-risk youth avoid falling behind in school. We spend a lot of time separating people after there’s been harm, but often the deepest healing and learning and moving forward can happen ... when we can actually come together and talk about what happened and how to make things right.
Note: Read more about the powerful work of restorative justice. Explore more positive stories like this on repairing criminal justice.
In 2019, Ostbelgien, a town in Belgium with about 80,000 residents, took a gamble on a new approach to governing: The city’s parliament voted to establish a permanent Citizens’ Council and Assembly, giving randomly-selected citizens the power to make decisions. They called it, aptly, the Ostbelgien Model. “Its main objectives are providing citizens not only a permanent voice in the process of decision making but also a systematic monitoring system to ensure they are heard,” the International Observatory on Participatory Democracy writes. “Ultimately, the project seeks to increase accountability and reinvigorate the agenda-setting power of common citizens.” Now, about six years into the experiment, which was created with the express purpose of increasing trust in government, participants say it’s working. Once a year, about 1,500 letters are sent to randomly chosen residents in Ostbelgien. Recipients indicate their interest. Of those who express interest, about 30 are chosen to become members of the citizens’ assembly. The newly formed assembly meets once a week for about two months, with each participant receiving a stipend of 155 euros (or $133) per day. They are assigned a topic of concern and have in-depth discussions about how the government should proceed, with an appointed moderator present to help move things along. Their recommendations to the parliament are not binding, but lawmakers are required to consider them.
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A recent survey from the British Standards Institution found that 68% of teen respondents said they feel worse when they spend too much time on social media, and 47% would remove them from existence if they could. So it’s not surprising that hundreds of thousands of people are now attending ‘IRL’ events (in real life) where phones are either banned or limited. Several new services are now curating “offline experiences” for social gatherings and dating, and the number of these events that are landing on the calendars of Americans and Europeans is a testament to the deep desire for human-to-human contact. The Offline Club of Europe has over half-a-million Instagram followers (an ironic yardstick of success), and chapters across the continent gather at venues where one’s smartphone is locked in a box at the start of the event. Once inside, reading, chatting, sharing a drink, playing a board game—in short, everything we used to do to socialize—are preferred over looking down at your phone. In addition to the Offline Club, companies like Kanso, Sofar Sounds, and the app 222, are making a business out of disconnecting humans from their social media feeds that overflow with targeted ads and AI-generated drivel. Each one has found itself a niche, but all are returning us to the social activities that our parents used to do before phones. There are likely more options for engaging with the world and humanity offline; these are just a few that are exploding in popularity.
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For more than 30 years, Frank Frost worked as a long-distance truck driver. He gained weight and was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in his 50s. His doctors put him on insulin injections and told him to lose weight and move more. "When l, like most people, failed, they made me feel weak and worthless," says Frost. Then, Frost met a doctor with a completely different approach — one that changed his life. The doctor ... asked Frost about things he enjoyed doing as a kid and discovered he used to love riding a bike. He gave him a prescription for a 10-week cycling course called Pedal Ready for adults getting back into cycling. "I hadn't been on a bike for almost 50 years until I started cycling again," says Frost. What Frost's doctor had done was give him a social prescription, says journalist Julia Hotz. It's the idea of health professionals "literally prescribing you a community activity or resource the same way they'd prescribe you pills or therapies," she explains. The prescriptions include exercise, art, music, exposure to nature and volunteering, which are known to have enormous benefits to physical and mental health. And it all starts with "flipping the script from what's the matter with you to focusing on what matters to you," Hotz says. "What are your activities that you love? What gets you out of bed?" Frost's prescription helped him make friends after years in a solitary profession. And it helped him lose 100 pounds, get his diabetes under control and go off insulin.
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The first time Mike Martin held an AK-47 was after the 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut. “My faith tradition is rooted in peace and non-violence,” he says. Martin took the AK-47 to a nearby blacksmith in Colorado Springs, dismantled it and forged the metal into a shovel and a rake. This moment sparked the beginning of RAWtools (War spelled backwards), a nonprofit Martin now runs full-time, and a movement spanning four states with affiliates in Buffalo, NY; Philadelphia, PA; and Asheville, North Carolina. Since its humble beginnings 14 years ago, RAWtools has destroyed and repurposed more than 6,000 guns, forging them into garden tools and art. Martin now carries the trigger of the first Kalashnikovs he destroyed on a keyring. For Martin, the physical act of destroying a gun can be healing, but often it’s just the beginning of a bigger conversation. “The dominant culture often tells us that we can’t escape the violence, so we should therefore join the violence,” he says. “Instead, this counter-story of turning swords into plows insists that violence is the problem, not the solution.” Anybody can fill out a form on the RAWtools website, or respond to the buyback program “Guns to Gardens,” and arrange to donate their gun. Donors often want to be involved in transforming the weapon into a force for good. RAWtools regularly holds events, especially in front of churches and synagogues, not only to collect and transform guns, but to start conversations.
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According to a new study by researchers at the Annenberg School for Communication at the University of Pennsylvania, both Democrats and Republicans significantly underestimate the diversity of policy attitudes within their own party and among the opposing party. This discovery challenges existing beliefs about polarization and suggests that reducing these misperceptions could ease political tensions. Previous research has suggested that Democrats and Republicans consistently overestimate how radical the other party is, always believing that the other party is much more radical than it actually is. However, this study suggests that the greater error in Democrats' and Republicans’ perceptions is how diverse they perceive the parties to be. The researchers also measured how participants felt toward the other party and how comfortable they were socializing with them. The more a participant perceived the other side to hold diverse attitudes, the more participants liked the other party and felt comfortable socializing with them. Perceiving the other party as having more diverse attitudes was also associated with lesser concern that the party supports violating democratic norms. “Our research suggests that fostering awareness of the diversity within political parties could reduce partisan hostility and create space for more constructive dialogue,” says Lelkes, co-director of the Polarization Research Lab.
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A “social prescription” [is] a referral to nonpharmaceutical, community-based resources and activities, like art classes and cycling clubs. Instead of a recommendation to exercise or socialize, a social prescription is tailored to that patient’s specific interests—what brings them joy, purpose, awe, flow and childlike curiosity. It’s a medicine based on what matters to a patient, instead of just what’s the matter with them. More than 80 percent of our health outcomes are driven by social factors in our environments, while only 16 percent are related to clinical care. In other words, to be healthy, we need access to basic resources—clean air, nutritious food, stable housing, freedom from violence and discrimination, and psychological resources—outlets that help us cope with stress, activities that give us a sense of purpose, people we can call at 3 A.M. in a crisis. Social prescriptions addressing both kinds of these social needs should be a no-brainer addition to the menu of options that American docs, therapists and social workers can prescribe. I’ve seen firsthand how social prescriptions can not only alleviate symptoms of sickness but also create lasting wellness—from the woman whose prescription for a sea-swimming prescription severely reduced her antidepressant dosage and helped “her life become bright again,” to the man whose prescription for a cultural excursion group helped him overcome his social anxiety and “feel like himself again.”
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"Delete Day," organized by several Gen Z-led groups, called on young people to excise an addictive app from their lives, starting, for now, with their phones. The event was not heavily promoted on social media, unsurprisingly, and minimally online. Instead, attendees relied on more old-school methods, like word-of-mouth. They decorated the park's entrance with chalk signs like "Delete your apps on the grass" and gave out hand-drawn stickers and pamphlets detailing how to save their data before nixing accounts on apps like Instagram. When they were ready, they could take a seat on the lawn, on picnic blankets, with candles, glow lights, and a living room lamp. The event, which drew about 80 participants, featured a few short speeches from the organizers, the deletion ritual, and a no-phones party. Nick Plante, 25, one of the speakers who organizes events around "attention activism" in the city, [said] that the night's tone was meant to be positive. The idea was to bring people together organically. "We wanted to really, really get in on a couple of people and change their lives very deeply," [said grad student Gabriela] Nguyen. Speakers shared their own struggles of growing up with social media, from being distracted at school to living with looming self-consciousness. "If you're like me, you've canceled on a friend because the pull to just stay at home and chill with all your devices is just too strong," Nguyen said.
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In Stockholm, Stina Larsson, 98, stood among fragrant lilacs, lilies and lavender, inspecting the garden that she has tended for more than 40 years. Ms. Larsson’s garden, situated on a postage stamp of land beside the Karlbergs Canal, is one of more than 7,000 garden allotments, known as koloniträdgårdar, in Stockholm. The gardens, established as part of a social movement around the turn of the 20th century, offer city dwellers access to green space and a reprieve from crowded urban life. Though most are modest in size — Ms. Larsson’s garden is about 970 square feet — koloniträdgårdar are prized for providing a rare kind of urban sanctuary, a corner of the city where residents can trade pavement for soil, and the buzz of traffic for birdsong. The garden programs were specifically designed to improve the mental and physical health of city dwellers. The idea was that a working-class family would be able to spend the summer there and work together but also have some leisure and fun. Cecilia Stenfors ... at Stockholm University, said her research shows that those who frequently visit green spaces, whether a forest or a koloniträdgård, “have better health outcomes, in terms of fewer depressive symptoms, less anxiety, better sleep and fewer feelings of loneliness and social isolation.” These positive effects can be particularly pronounced in older people and can help combat symptoms of age-related mental and physical decline.
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A pavilion of towering windows in a Mexico City urban park is nearly packed. Everyone here wants the same thing: to dance freely, at no cost, without harassment or prejudice. Twenty-somethings, children with their mothers, teenagers and elderly couples gather around the disc jockey’s console. “This is an open invitation for everyone to move as they wish in a safe space!” said Axel Martínez, one of the collective’s founders, as he grabs a microphone and cheers the revelers on. At their own pace, each person is carried away by the music — and no one seems surprised by the moves of others. From experimental jazz pieces and smooth Egyptian hip-hop to the more familiar pulse of cumbias grooved with an electronic touch, people dance to it all. The party was organized by the Nueva Red de Bailadores or NRB (New Network of Dancers), a collective that aims to create spaces where people can gather to dance freely. There’s no cover charge, no booze, and no pressure to do the “right” moves. As organizers pointed out, their parties forgo police and security, fostering a sense of collective care where attendees look out for one another. Isabel Miraflores, a 73-year-old retired high school assistant principal, came with her husband and said she enjoyed both the dancing and the presence of people of different ages. “I think it’s wonderful because it’s a free event,” she said. “We get together with people from all parts of society and we have fun without any trouble.”
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Not everyone pines for the days without cell phones, but what about social media? Would you erase social media from the history books if you could? If you said yes, you share the feelings of a staggering 46% of teenage respondents to a recent survey from the British Standards Institution (BSI), which also found that 68% of respondents said they felt worse when they spend too much time on their socials. Enter The Offline Club, (who ironically have 530,000 followers on Instagram) a Dutch social movement looking to create screen-free public spaces and events in cafes to revive the time before phones, when board games, social interaction, and reading were the activities observed in public. They also host digital detox retreats, where participants unplug from not only their smartphones, but computers too, and experience a life before the internet. BSI’s research showed that out of 1,290 individuals aged 16-21, 47% would prefer to be young in a world without the internet, with 50% also saying a social media curfew would improve their lives. The Offline Club is taking advantage of this rising cross-cultural awareness and helps its followers replace “screen time with real time.” Their founders envision a world where time spent in public is present and offline. It started in Amsterdam, but Club chapters quickly organized in Milan, Berlin, Paris, London, Barcelona, Brussels, Antwerp, Dubai, Copenhagen, and Lisbon. Anyone can start a club in a city.
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Tony McAleer was just 16 years old when he ... became active in the White Aryan Resistance, where he became a leader. But 15 years later, he left that life behind and embarked on a path of healing. He's since founded a non-profit, Life After Hate, which helps other people leaving white supremacy groups, written a book called The Cure For Hate, and starred in a documentary about his journey. "When I left the movement, I still had the beliefs intact," [said McAleer]. "It's not just the ideas in someone's head, it was my whole identity. It was who I hung out with, the videos I watched, the music I listened to. It's challenging to get someone to admit that what they believe is wrong. I left the movement behind, but I was still a jerk. I still had all of the wounds that were spilling out all over everywhere. I used humour, sarcasm, putting people down, I could verbally destroy people without any violence. I was still a jerk because I hadn't dealt with the source of my anger and hatred, the source of my self-loathing." It wasn't till I met a counsellor — who was Jewish — in 2005. I went through about 1,000 hours of ... counselling and really got to the root of who I was. The more he connected me to my humanity, the more I could recognize the humanity in others. And the more I could connect to the humanity in others, the more I could recognize the humanity in myself. It's very important that we learn to call out behaviours, we call out ideology, call out the activity, but we need to call the human being in.
Note: For more, watch our latest 20-min video on what can transform a divided world, where you’ll hear the powerful words and stories from those at the edge of death, leaders who reached across deep divides, and even a former neo-Nazi who left hate. Explore more positive stories like this on healing social division.
In 2021, Kristen Magnuson had to make a secret deal to continue a staple of her daily routine: swimming at her local outdoor pool. During the pandemic, the state of Washington required a vaccine passport to gain access to public spaces such as restaurants, movie theaters, and gyms. Ms. Magnuson chose not to get vaccinated. So the mother of two made a covert arrangement with gym staff. She could bypass the lobby by sneaking in through a back door. Ms. Magnuson was grateful, but she felt like a second-class citizen. Now she has a plea: Can we talk about what we went through? She isn’t opposed to vaccines – her husband and children got them. She and others are asking: What would America do differently if the country could have a do-over, or faced a similar challenge in the future? Ms. Magnuson ... isn’t ready to absolve top officials until they show “a recognition of harms.” “I was surprised when some politicians and doctors said that those who remain unvaccinated should not be treated if they fall ill. People were not ‘bad’ or ‘COVidiots’ if they contracted COVID-19; they were human,” [Dr. Monica] Gandhi wrote. “There is absolutely no place for stigma, judgment, and a shame-based approach in public health.” The former NIH director [Dr. Francis Collins] proposed, instead, a reckoning modeled on South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission in the aftermath of apartheid. “That means people coming forward and confessing what they did that was harmful in public and asking for forgiveness,” said Dr. Collins, who was appointed by President Obama and served as a science adviser to Biden. “That’s very different than just amnesty.”
Note: Read NIH director Jay Bhattacharya's powerful call for forgiveness despite being cancelled for having dissenting views on COVID policies. Explore more positive stories like this on healing social division.
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